no easy way out

Just when she thinks things are getting smoother
Just when she thinks life was getting simpler
Just when she allow her dreams to soar a bit higher
Life snarls again with its claws sharped stronger...

Someone once told satisfaction is all we are after
Each one for himself, a selfish tolerator
She begs to see some higher divinity, peace of mind
Where love truly exists, selfishness devoid

Forgiveness for hurting, if hurting is what it was
Allow a bit more space, for this weak soul to grow
Forgiveness for believing, in a life based on hope
Within these shackles, she'll strive a bit more...

Dream girl..

I am still trying to get into writing on this blog again..
Read this poem again after awhile now.. it always made me smile :)
I love the ending of a memoried day regardless of the outcome.. we are but dreamers...

" The heart is still aching to seek, But the feet question 'Whither? - Robert Frost"

YOU will come one day in a waver of love,
Tender as dew, impetuous as rain,
The tan of the sun will be on your skin,
The purr of the breeze in your murmuring speech,
You will pose with a hill-flower grace.

You will come, with your slim, expressive arms,
A poise of the head no sculptor has caught
And nuances spoken with shoulder and neck,
Your face in a pass-and-repass of moods
As many as skies in delicate change
Of cloud and blue and flimmering sun.

Yet,
You may not come, O girl of a dream,
We may but pass as the world goes by
And take from a look of eyes into eyes,
A film of hope and a memoried day..

-Carl Sandberg

Photo credit

someday..

Mesmerized by this quote..

If your heart is bleeding, make the best of it..
There is heat in freezing, be a testament.
T. Davis


I want to someday be content, just to feel.. comfortable..
I want to be loved, to feel loved, and protected with that love..
 genuinely loved for who I am.
By a person I feel the same for.
I want to love, to show love, from the core of my being.
I want to discover someone, layer by layer, find beauty and
   darkness inside, yet fiercely and passionately love. unconditionally.
I want to feel beautiful and wanted, just in his eyes.
I want to lie naked and vulnerable in his embrace, delicate bare.  
Slowly stumble upon a level of intimacy, where a knowing glance can heal you. 

Maybe I'll never find it, I open myself again and again, unfreeze my heart from its' jaded colours,
open up these old wounds, in the hope of finding such bliss, only to find myself in a cruel snare. Ridicule me. go ahead. Call me naive, call me drama.

No, I don't want the whole world, give me a simple corner, just with genuine love.  To give, and get. To simply be.

that you can't understand..

this inherent sadness, that wants to make you burst out crying, for no apparent reason.

this unsureness of what you want, and why you are not where you want to be

this loathing of clingings you want to let go of

this sorrow. that you can't understand.

saturday aft. post*

Went to sleep last night determined that come morning, I am not going to convince myself I am too lazy to go for lectures and then few hours later find myself merrily roaming around colombo/mount beach window shopping and people watching. Like last Saturday! Then I actually woke up to this morning. With soft rain drops on the roof and a sluggish gloominess seeping through the blinds.

So here I am, happily sedated by the weather, a hearty breakfast plus the after effects of a long working week. Prepped up to watch a movie but I am actually LONGINNNNG for the beach. Again. I am somewhat addicted to the rolling waves, the assortment of humans and the myriad of colors in the setting sri lankan sun. And a chilled beer ofcourse.
And as I type this I wonder whether I sound like THAT hikka type crowd pleasing ganja smoking bikini clad, bf hugging persona.. arghh. You know the type, yes? What with social networking and reduced connectivity tariffs all of Colombo somewhat seems blending into few kinds of people. Everyone seems to be wanting to become this one fad. Now if I was Cerno, I would certainly be able to present this in a scientific fact finding style of writing, but who would I be kidding eh.
Which makes me wonder, what kind of person I sound like on this blog.. I am not that much of an active blogger, but whatever that finds it way on this, is more of who I am than what I might seem like in the real world. looking back my first ever post I was quite hesitant in what I might put in here. It was obviously easy to open up to a blogging community when you are annonymous, but with time, I've come not to mind certain information that might reveal who I am.. and now I am pretty sure I am quite pseudo-anonymous as whackster puts it, as it’s not that hard to connect this n that and figure certain things.
Oh well..
Note the unfiltered unstructured line of thought on this post itself? That is quite normal in my terrains, apart from certain occasions. And for that reason I love this blog. More the reason why I want to get back into writing in it more often..

And guess what.. I am just about to head out, riding on that whim n whine inside my head.. will complete this when iam back!

*Back after a small saturday afternoon shopping spree, a Viennese brownie with hot chocolate sauce, a movie, a Sunday and an empty wallet.. and this post is not complete but I shall put it up anyway, before I rush into the week, or I will never get on with it.

Thrilogy : on June 12th, three worlds will collide. And not a word will be spoken..

People of the world, or in this case SL, don't miss out on this musical fusion..

Pioneering instrumental fusion-band ‘Thriloka’: enter stage right.
The 18-piece ‘Contemporary Chamber Orchestra’, conducted by Manilal Weerakoon: enter stage left.

Witnesses to the musical marriage: enter main hall.

Doors close at 7:45pm.

Lights dim.

And from the most intimate of all sounds – silence – we begin the consummation of polarized musical entities. Warming you up to a rock’n’roller-coaster ride through the softly grooving temptations of exotica via the visions of psychadelia to the screaming pulsations of molten metal. Thriloka + Orchestra + You = Fusion at its nucleus-splitting hottest. *

Get your tickets soon guys, it's this friday..

*So yes, I shamelessly copied most of this post from their event page, but in my defence I am rushing out to work (workaholic in me is in full swing).

peace and one nation lu..

Heard about it at work, I didn’t feel a thing. Went and checked the news online and even with the newsflash with a huge picture of the man himself right in front of me, I felt this awkwardness, slight uncomfortableness. Should I be celebrating something? At home right now, went through a bit of local news on tv, heard about all the ‘events’ from several sources and I still feel the same. I don’t understand the crackers or all the jubilant fb status updates. Rather I can’t relate to them. And I can’t place this feeling. Does this hesitant feeling label an unpatriotic? They say it’s over, but why don’t I feel it’s over? The doubt. Fuelled by years of conditioning, has it rendered me feelingless or is this apathy at its core?

Plus how can we be lighting crackers, dancing around when they are several hundred thousands of people only with the clothing in their body suffering up north?

I don’t want to be an armchair politician. I don’t even talk about this with anyone yet alone assert any opinion. Just penning down my thoughts at a day our country declared the bloodshed is over. Whether it’s really over from today, we will only know with time.

The barricades will have to come down. The divisions of a them and us in paper and in mind, will have to dissolve and everyone should be able to treat everyone else with dignity, trust and respect. And all those people who have suffered at both ends?, the real challenge would be winning them over. Wining their hearts and minds to put the past behind and live together in peace. I think I will feel truly a one nation, when I see this happening..