Of 2 hour study breaks & friends

It's been sometime, but I just received this pics. Involved a lot of sweet gluttony, insults shouted across doorways, tables, and doodles written on whiteboards, banisters, tables and walls. We've marked our area in our apartment not sparing any nook or corner. Group studying ambitions always ended with us slamming doors and telling eachother to stay awayy.. and half an hour later the same bunch can be found huddled over a plate of chicken tandoori. This is how we studdddied..

we had a large boxful to last 2 weeks of incessant eating

my roomi (art courtesy of yours truly)

my roomi

I think this was supposed to be me. :P
and ofcourse the shot to end the exam trauma

goodbye message


Goodluck to all those studying for their exams..

Status update

Now:













Tomorrow Morning, Before Intimidating 4th Interview (I4I):












During I4I:















After I4I :

Pehla nashaa pehla khumaar..

.
.

"Pehla nasha, pehla khumaar..

Naya pyaar hai, naya intezaar..."

do you remember ?

You can be my hero babyyyy

Haha cheesy cheesy title. I know. Just had to push those buttons!!

So I was sharing extraordinary life moments with a certain someone (hmm, let's call him candyman). We were trying to top eachother (a little game we created) and many many interesting revelations later, just when I thought I told the all-hail-victory story, he tops it off saying he has saved 7 people. Seven human beings from dying due to a sailing accident. Made me go, "aren't you something..", and think to myself "ooh my tall dark valiant hero" (gush gush). Isn't that a nice thing to hear from a person you have a certain thing for ? :)


ps-I sure do pray and hope you are not reading this candyman..

moneyyy moneyy moneyy

I wantttt! Loads of it. Can't live like this anymore, I am done trying. Planning to rob a bank. Can't be that hard in good ol' SL yea? Anybody want to join? sigh. this post is going to be a whiny one.

I is depressed. Jobless, doughless, friendless. Well, I am exaggerating a bit on the latter, but still, it is Sri Lanka hellllo. Can't go 100m without having to spend 100 bucks or talk 10 minutes without $$$ being rung up. So how am I supposed to maintain friends? or make new ones to replace the ones dragged away to happyland by the damn MMSL (Marriage Movement of Sri Lanka).

sob. sob. sob. Early morning (10am) saw me reading LadyD's and DeeCee's posts on chocRoti. :(
Now I've had banana roti which is really really sweet, but nothing sweeter than that, and I tend not to like to mix my sweet stuff with my generally spicy stuff (roti). But I definitely wanted to try it after seeing this pic. I have been having this unshakable craving for a certain type of cakes from this specific outlet for a few days now (refer pictures below and imagine mouth watering luscious, luxurious, sinfully delightful chocolate/cheese cakes).



I can't get over those for 3 days now and LadyD you talking about chocRoti with a nice bunch of friends didn't help this poor soul. I am half jealous these days when I hear about friends and meetups and etc, coz I miss my besty bunch, but more than that I can't hangout with any new ones either. Why? I don't have cash!!! Why don't I ? Coz I don't have a job and I hate depending on the rents. Go find a job I hear you say, well try looking for a certain finance related job when a world financial crisis is going on. :( My timing sucks. big hairy ugly limp balls! euu that was gross wasn't it.

I could go on and on. Cmon, isn't it sad when you make friends with random strangers from different countries through online poker coz you can't afford to go grab a coffee or a roti in real life?

Moonlit Dreams

Moonlit Dream by Spice
"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream. Wandering by lone sea breakers, and sitting by desolate streams. World losers and world forsakers, for whom the pale moon gleams. Yet we are movers and the shakers of the world forever it seems."

-Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

I tried to take the full moon closeup, on a not so clear poya, but it seems according to experts, it's better to 'shoot the moon' when it's not in full bloom (ahh that almost ryhmed now didn't it?) It's too bright at full moon to get the edges very clear, so I've been told. Thus I shall try again on another clear not so bloomed moon night to capture you in all your glory my lady.
Taken at f/4.5, 1/30 s, ISO100

Now the Have's

I have..

-nothing much to do on a Sunday morning other than to write the "I have's" of mine and do my duty to fellow bloggers. :D Plus, long island tea rocks!

-scared my sibling hundreds of times by hiding at the top of the stairs when we were small. And he fell for it everytime. Poor thing got scarred for life.

-fallen for McDreamy, Dan Humphrey frm GG, Robin of Loxley in Robin of Sherwood, Charlie of Party of Five.

-kissed a girl. actually 3 girls on different times. ;)

-a certain liking for those girlish light smokes which leaves a sweet (mint,strawberry) taste on you lips. But I really can't smoke smoke(inhale too much) to save my life even.

-climbed out of my tall tall cot that was twice my baby height when noone was looking before I even learned how to walk. It still remains a mystery.

-been told to stop talking with the besty by the teacher in every class, be it school or private. We were identical in a lot a ways, even looks, and we just couldn't stop talking. Impossible. Even though we were together since 7am till 6pm most of the week, we could never run out of things to jabber about.

-said yes I love you and yes I will be your girlfriend to a floor manager of a bar/club, while been very very tipsy in the clubs unisex washroom. Well how could I not, when he sneaked free drinks and got us in free and etc etc every time. My friends couldn't think of a better way to party free than auctioning me to this cheesy 20 something floor manager.

-walked on a lonely road past midnight near a cemetry with someone whom I had a thing for back then. Adrenaline rush I tell you.

-contemplated death, several times. Mine and others. Is it strange to imagine how you might feel if someone you care about deeply were to die? I am worried about how my imagination work.

-been leered at in a strange way by this man from the moment I got out of my vehicle to go inside the driving instructor's place. I walk in giving him a nasty look and few minutes later, while I was waiting outside for the instructor to come out, the same man appraoches me with a shy grin. I was getting ready to hit him with my hand bag, when he blurts, sister don't take this the wrong way but your zip is open. And continues to walk away, while my mouth and zip remain agape for a few seconds.

-had a pet baby owl who was rescued and kept in the bathroom and fed little pieces of meat. I was too small to remember anything else.

-once asked everyone to go grab all the flower pots, broom and other things outside when it started raining, while trying to do the same myself. I must have been about 3 or 4 and noone knows what brought on the sudden spurt of raincare for such amusing objects.

-a crush on someone, who is tall, tanned and extremely comfortably nice.

-have a besty who is extremely religous, non-alcoholic, non-smoking, well-behaved and another besty who is the exact opposite. And another one who is stuck inbetween those qualities, like me (I think). And I miss them terribly.

-been eating kiribath and lunumiris while writing this post.

Tempted by the I have nevahs

I have nevah

-understood the way "I digress" is used. It sounds unnatural- always whack bam right in the middle of something.

-been in a moshpit. uncool?

-had a boyfriend. (haha gotcha!)

-been kissed by a stranger. (still looking)

-been comfortable with making small talk.

-gone on a proper romantic wine & dine date.

-been good at sports. Though I wish otherwise..

-learned to swim properly atleast to stay afloat. I can manage a feeble frog-stroke.

-imagined (about 3 years back) that I would be able to get by without having a better half for more than a year, but I am doing just fine :)

-been comfortable with crying in public, even among friends, eventhough I can tear very easily. So it's always a struggle of hiding the saltwater.

-weighed more than 54kg. and I'm taller than 5'7''


:) there... some random nevahs about Spice.

Are you afraid of the Dark?

So I was a huge fan of the mundane horror series back in the day. So much that, it used to thrill me to watch the matchstick flicker out! I know, I know!! But to date, ironically, I happen to be one of the biggest wimps of all when it comes to dealing with The Dark. While I've never had monsters-in-the-closet scares (maybe even back then I knew my closet door was too heavy even for a monster to open), I've been reduced to hold-your-breath-in-case-they-hear fears numerous countless times. It still happens sometimes. One time I do remember very vividly. Woke up startled in the middle of the night. It was pitch black. Now I always sleep on my side, and found myself facing the wall, with this low snarlish grumble right behind my ear. (You know usually you see people scream or wakeup vertically straight when they are scared. I never understood that. I would break out in a sweat, freeze in position, breath heavily, or even start trembling, but can never scream when I am scared by a nightmare or sleep related scares as the one I am telling). Anyhow, back to the growling, it was terrifying. 9 or 10 years old at the time, I was imagining this snarling monster near my ear, ready to pounce at the slightest hint of movement. I could even feel its' warm presence heave up and down on the mattress, behind me. So there I was frozen in position, scared to move, scared to breath, waiting for 'it' to go away. "I know there aren't monsters, I know it can't be real, I should just turn and face whatever it is. I can't get out anyway, maybe I can bravetalk to the monster. Maybe I am dreaming". Yep, I actually thought it's better to figure out a way to talk to the monster, than appear scared of it, by screaming. It's these back and forth moments of cowardliness and courage that I always remember later on and think, wimp! So, with all the guts I could muster the little me turns her body round to face the dark green red eyed monster, only to find her beloved grandma sleeping next to her. Snoring. Very loudly and weirdly. Cmon, noone could have guessed that was someone snoring! So I shake her lightly and cosy upto her, and the snoring dims down, and I am a happy puppy again, brave as ever *grin*.

Nowadays, my frights at nights involve thieves. If I wakeup at night at some sound, I tend to go through the whole freeze-in-position dilemma again. The things I imagine at those times, the ways a thief can harm me, my family, if he knows I am awake, are the stuff Hollywood would be proud of. Most of the time, the thief turns out to be the mater, waking up early to do some of her work and going around in the dark, or just noises my house makes (I hope). God forbid, imagine the jitters I would go through if my place was actually robbed ?

Torn..

It's funny really how everything can change in the blink of an eye. Feelings of euphoric happiness, completely erased by a simple mistake. Or what I like tho consider a mistake as I doubt other people would. It's Ironic how ones sense of selfworth is completely destroyed with a simple gesture. A simple statement. I'm currently on a rollercoaster of highs and lows, my highest being that of a mole hill. Things are going from bad to worse and back up again...

I could be in the largest crowd, and I would still feel loneliness down to the deepest chambers of my heart. I could be showered with torrents of adoration and affection and love, and still I would feel nothing but worthlessness. My confidence ripped from me and shattered on the rocks below. My feet placed at the very edge, arms thrown out and head hung low; my dead eyes watching as emotions I once reveled in drain from my torn heart like my life's blood...

My heart is torn. A hand on either side, ripped at the seems. I wish I had a reason, my flaws are open season, for this I gave up trying. It's like every day I try to go no where, most of the time I just break down and cry. I feel empty, yet somehow satisfied. Heartless and cruel. Uncaring, Unseeing. I lost what I care about most, and ended up lost myself whilst looking for them. A dark, endless road lies ahead. No light to guide my way. Blindly stumbling into what is unknown. I fear nothing. Yet so scared...

My own heart an endless abyss. A black chasm from whence there is no return. Sometimes I feel that's where I've lost myself. In that black chasm, which I thought I knew so well. It seems to be never ending. Endless darkness. A darkness which grips at you and consumes you. You care about nothing, nothing cares about you. You are nothing. Just like me..
----
I summarized my feelings and put it out on words, made it perfect. Word perfect. But for what? Where do I go on to from this entry? Torn..

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ps- While I was writing on this blog, I remembered one of the older blogs I had on LiveJournal, few years back. Kottu and the SL blogsphere were non-existent then. Or I think. And out of curiosity, I revived it up, and went through it. The above writing was taken from it. It managed to shock me. Given that I wrote in that blog during a very dark period in my life, I found a morbid, dark, almost suicidal person. I can actually admit it to myself now and talk openly about it, and I can see how far I've come and how hard it was. But I am glad now that, that period is tucked away in an out of reach closet in my heart. I am a much better person today, happier and sunnier. I am more like who I am naturally, and not what I became trying to live life on other people's standards.

pss- This is very personal, I might take this down, if I feel like it. I just wanted to record this realization. I guess that's one advantage of keeping a blog, you can see how you grew and changed as years pass by. :)

Kissed by a stranger

It's quite dark other than the glow casting on our faces. I presume we are watching something on TV (or are we at the movies?) and suddenly he's next to me. Our friends are all around us, but none of them are mutual. Heck! we barely know each other! And I can sense my thoughts go haywire, what am I doing next to this person? So close?? Why is my head on his shoulder, how, when, what? And then..
He turns his head towards me, ever so close. I can feel his breath, warm on my upper lip. Slowly he kisses me.. and I return it! it’s intense. one of those stolen out of breath kisses you will only experience seated next to eachother at the movies. almost unreal. it lasts for sometime and we look at eachother like a normal couple head over heels disgustingly in love.
Happened last night. Today morning, I log into my laptop, go online, browse my daily online world, and then sign into msn. And I see his name! CLICK!! And it all comes flooding back to me, and I am almost blushing, at the thought of dreaming of this strangers kiss. Where on earth did that come from? He’s cute, that I can tell you, but I never think of this person more than the typical guy he is, I’ve had no fleeting crushes on him, and he’s the exact opposite of a guy I would fall for. And we are not even friends. Just a hi-bye, casual acquaintance. He would laugh his guts out and make a wisecrack about how sexy he is, if he ever found out. Not that he would. ;) My mind works in very strange ways, I hardly dream, and whenever I do, it’s something like this, surprising me.
ps- I've never been kissed by a stranger, and if the excitement is half as how I dreamed it my might be, I am all for it. Any tall-dark-mysterious-greek-gods out there?

I Remember - A Beautiful Frenzy

Damien Rice.. Sheer Brilliance! This performance is a musical orgasm in its own. A raw, chilling, haunting, goosebump inducing type. Like it reaches in to your core. I can't even imagine the imprint it left on the audience.

Plus, he's all droolworthy!

omg! I lived to tell the tale!

Thank you god, my lucky stars, or who or whatever for getting me through this horrendous experience. What was supposed to be a quiet afternoon with a couple of friends turned out to be a nightmare for two of us. One got sick in the middle and had to drop her all the way in Rathmalana, and I was driven back by the other friend back to my place. And I swear I haven't been so agitated ever in my life about someone’s driving (hmm maybe other than the driver who was fired coz of his constant pointless headlight flashing and horning, giving all passengers an equal headache). So this friend, he is a nice person, mostly at the butt end of our jokes half the time. But as a driver, he's a moron!!! (btw is buddy-bashing accepted in the blogsphere?)

Now...
Imagine the joy of squeezing through two huge-assed buses both wavering on to you. I was clutching on to my dear ol' pumping heart! Then let’s not forget, racing with a whacko bus driver who in the end got stopped by police. Okay I know guys have ego issues about their driving skills, but cmon who tries an ego-boost with the whacko bakalan-bus-drivers of Sri Lanka!!! I was glad the bus got stopped coz I swear I saw the murderous gleam in the bus-drivers eyes, at the prospects of his new found pray. He was swerving left and right, and the moron to my right was right abreast swerving alongside. Phew so the bus got stopped. Then came the horning! Imagine nonstop horning in the middle of very slow traffic for no goddamn reason, and sprinkle that with some swearing here and there. I swear, I don’t know how idiots like this don’t see the utter stupidity in their actions. I had to repeat constantly, “Enough with the horn! Can’t u see the bloody traffic!” I tried my patience in the beginning, given that of course he was kind enough to drive me back home, quite a distance, while he had to attend some other function later as well. But I wasn’t in for a ride to hell, direct from Galle Road. So, it went on and on, until I almost had it when he squeezed through a zebra crossing while there were people on both side of the road just stepping on to cross. I was flabbergasted. Told him to stop, and let me get down and I’ll get home somehow (even though I was penniless at that moment). Then he was like okay okay I am sorry, I’ll drive carefully. So he was slow and careful for awhile, and then came a checkpoint. This has happened once before with this same guy, and after that I have always made sure to keep an eye out for all checkpoints if I ever hitch a ride with him. This idiot, almost.. almost passed a checkpoint without stopping when you could clearly see the police dude stopping us. I was saying stop, thrice! Thank god he wasn’t driving as fast as before, or my mom would have had to collect her daughter’s bullet-ridden body from the mortuary tonight.


Finally we reach my place; I remove the seatbelt with a sigh of relief, and thank him for the ride from hell. He laughs a slight nervous laugh, and I think he is a hurry to get back, so I just let him go, WITHOUT the good bashing I was intending. But then again, I don’t think people like this ever change, coz me and my friends have given him lectures on his reckless driving before. Several times. I just don’t get it, how people like this survive on the road. Every time we go with him, it seems to me if none of us were in the vehicle he wouldn’t have stopped at that checkpoint or this redlight. How do they drive on their own? With him it’s hard to even call it anger coz generally he has a cool temper. Maybe road rage is another whole different story. Bloodyhell, the amazing factor is he has never gotten into trouble with the cops or with any accident in the past 3 years I have known him.

So, any ideas of how to deal with road-morons like this? Especially when it’s a generally very helpful nice moron?

ps – Great. I check my utorrent, and guess the latest movie that just finished downloading? Just what I needed after my deathly ride.. Why couldn’t it have been “Taken”. Why oh why?!

There's always the first time..

So here I am. After years of reading and watching the Sri Lankan blogsphere and sometimes participating, I have finally decided to dive right in. Having followed the popular blogs in the likes of Indi, Missing Sandwich, Java, Darwin, the London Drummer, Sach, Lady D, Scrumpy, Middle Child, Gutterflower, n etc etc for ages, it's almost strange that I can relate to you guys (in the strange virtual ways of the www). Yet none of you have any idea of this stranger. Have any one of you paused to wonder who might be reading your blog? There may be a whole world of people out there (possible stalkers, or better yet, know it's them whom you are referring to even though you try to garble out the identity facts ) who might be following your every move silently! :P

Anyhow, well I decided it's finally time to join in. (Honestly I have been too lazy and have been postponing this since 2006, procrastinator much ? )

So let's toast for new beginnings! (I can almost feel the silent 'eh' stares right now!)