Pimpesque

and ugly. check out the body kit!

it only need some gold rims..

sing me a lovesong

Baby don't you cry, gonna make a pie,

gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle.
Baby don't be blue, gonna make for you,
gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle.
Gonna be a pie from heaven above,
gonna be filled with strawberry love.

Baby don't you cry, gonna make a pie,
and hold you forever in the middle of my heart....

feeling bittersweet. wanted to hear a lovesong.

Discovering Adam

I went. I climbed. I died and went to heaven. And climbed back down.
Was too tired to write about my sri padha adventure all these days, but now since me and my poor muscles are recovering (faster than expected) I have no reason to procrastinate.
How was it? Awesome & Worsome! :)

Started the climb all wrapped up in warm things, redbull cans and all smiles. I can do this. The couch potato without any exercise whatsoever for the last 5 months. CAN.DO.THIS. Starting time-2.10am

15 minutes later.
I was panting heavily. Imagine that. Before going I had this plan of documenting the track uphill by means of photographs. But few steps into the climb I forgot everything about anything. But all in all the first hour was good. We made good progress, even with my friend having gotten nauseous from the busride.
1.5 hours later..
Stopping every 25 steps or so. For a break of 3-4 minutes. My friend had slowed down. I actually didn't know it, until I turned back around and couldn't spot her anymore. I was advised to continue the climb without waiting for her, so climb I did. By this time my strategy was to climb to a point where I couldn't see the place/steps I took the previous break. It worked well.
2 hours later..
Are we there yet?????
how much further?
are those 3 lights the top?
Thank goodness one of the guys climbing alongside had done this climb before several times and knew all the right answers. the right answers=the right lies.
At this point the breaks were getting longer. Climbing at certain points included all four paws. Steps were getting steeper. Legs were starting to hurt. The little teahuts you come across every 20 minutes were crawled into with a welcome sigh.
3 hours later..
Tell me that is the peak pls! Why am I doing this to myself. why why why. (insert some swearing here and there)
The guys ( whom I got to know only that day) found it a little bit amusing I think.
Since it was night, we couldn't see the peak of the mountain but only the lights curving upward, and when you are climbing you can only see the lights upto a certain distance before it bends off. So you keep climbing thinking it's somewhere there, and poof. more lights appear. And you climb again. those lights were mocking me I tell you.
The plan was to reach the top before sunrise. It was 5am already and I was told we have about another 1.5 hour climb left. HOW!?!
We might miss the sunrise. noooh. climb the next 3 steps with newly gained motivation. stop. tiredness hits you and just feel like sleeping right there with the cold mountain air lulling you to sleep.

Around 1 hour later..
By this time I don't have the strength to speak. Even the guys are silent and all of us are focusing on getting to the top. somehow. before sunrise.
We can see the early rays of dawn. I loose track of time after this, and now it's a matter of surviving each 'oh-shit' corner and climbing the one step in front of you. each step is painful. Each ohshit corner dwindles any faith of reaching the stop. Ohshit corners was christened by a friend in the group, describing the reactions of the climbers when they make the turn on these corners. You see, by this time we are almost, right, at the top. you can hear the temple bells at the peak, you can see the beautiful scenery. And you see a flight of steps dissapppearing around a corner into a boulder and you think that's the top. You reach there with new found motivation. turn. 20 more steps await you. OH SHIT.
Believe me you, there are about 10,15 of such corners right at the top. It's painfullllllll.
The last few flight of steps you actually have to drag yourself up the very steep steps by holding on the both the railings and pushing with your arms as well. atleast I had to. gah.
Somehow. I did it. I made it before the sunrise. There was no cry of joy at the top coz there was no energy left for that. I found a comfortable solitary corner by myself (my friend hadn't reached yet) and waited. The pics will explain the sheer beauty of everything that followed I guess.

The sunrise left me speechless for good half an hour as I just sat there. It was peaceful. and everything seemed to come together, one of those perfect moments. I couldn't feel the tiredness anymore. The hopeless romantic that Iam, the old me would have been wondering how wonderful it would have been to share this moment with someone close. But surprisingly I wasn't even close to thinking that. For the first time in my life I was witnessing something so romantic and fantasy like, yet I was completely happy by myself high up there in the clouds.


















The climb down was really painful. I mastered a new penguin walk, but it was all worth it in the end. I would definitely go again. And now I know, one day I just might be able to achieve my dream of climbing Mt.Kilimanjaro. All smiles =) =) =)

somewhere over a mountain.. finally!

Listening to something bittersweet..

I wish I lived next to the sea. I wish! Most of the time friends are too busy, and I live too far away from any decent beach to travel there by myself and come back at a decent hour (as declared by the mater) alone. The coming sunday had a plan, but I am not sure whether that's gonna work out now.
Onto better things, I am climbing sri pada/adam's peak tomorrow night!!! With one good friend and her office mates - a bunch of people I have never met! Can't be that bad yea?, even though a friend who came over to my place today raised one eyebrow at the mention of the workplace of the afore mentioned bunch of people and related a few interesting stories about the reputation of this certain office.
pffshh, We are going in a hired bus helllloo, what can happen in a bus?
And he started to inform me kindly what could happen, before I asked him to shutup like a goodboy. So yea, little did I know this place is thaaaat notorius!
NOO.
Saturday morning, I will be a happychild watching a pretty sunrise while sipping a hot hot sugary tea with the cold mountain air freezing my poor ass. =)
And the artsy-fartsy in me hasn't had a proper outing in awhile now, so the cam will be put to good use.. hopefully.

For Record - Alcohol-free for two weeks (despite having a stash close-by) and having a lot of caffeine for a change. Should I say yay?

p.s. -
While on the phone with another (very religious) friend who climbed the afore-mentioned mountain..
she- don't take food with meat okay?
me-ohhh, okaay. I didn't know.
pause
me- how about alcohol?
I almost almost said that, before mentally kicking myself! Maybe I should have, just to amuse myself.

Marilyn Hotchkiss Ballroom Dancing & Charm School

I didn't see it coming, but I should have..
I don't know, maybe I didn't want it.Maybe I was jusst too scared.. just too weak..
-Don't blame yourself.. Anger is one thing, but guilt is..a worthless emotion.
It's not the guilt. It's the emptiness..
-Emptiness?
I feel like I'm drifting. In an endless monotonous ocean. All my thoughts just blended together like water.. no form, definition, no beginning no end.. Loss. Loneliness.
You see the whole world just.. slipping away.. and you can't do anything about it.
-Or you don't. You know what you should do.
-Your mind screws with you, and you wind up doing the wrong thing. Or nothing at all.
-It's always a total mess.
Maybe next time.
-Next time? Is there ever a next time?
I hope so.

------

this blog is starting to sound very depressive, which shouldn't be so, since I am not thaaat. Yet, at the risk of sounding more n more like an emo I still wanted to quote this film.

Note to self.

If you ever decide to have kids,
for goodness sake when/if you want their help, don't criticize about everything else before demanding for help. Ask kindly.

-Keep talking with them. From toddler to horomonic-teen to adult. It's important you communicate. But be Kind.
-Even when angry, be stern yet kind.
-Don't ever be cruel.
-Don't ever ignore them on purpose.
-What you sow is what you reap.

Indifferent

I've got to a point where I feel and live for the moment, but I am apathetic about everything of the past/future. I am happy when I am happy, and down and out in another hour or so. I share a wonderful moment with a person, yet then I know. Again. However much you care about a person, a lover, a friend. They will leave. Or they will let you down on your expectations. The expectations you didn't try to have, knowing they will be let down. But we all can't help ourselves, we all do build expectations, even a small one. Only human. So I live for the moment. For now I have the luxury to do so. One day I might not.
Oh well..
In the end we all die. Why do anything? Only thing noble I see than living the selfish life for yourself is to live it to make it all better and happy for someone else. but for what? In the end, again you might be fulfilling your own self satisfaction of helping someone else (the feel good factor). Those people die too. I don't believe in heaven and hell. Karma, maybe. But I have my doubts there too.

On the other side of things..
Who is a patriotic?
I cannot believe/hope the end of a war will solve everything for Sri Lanka. It will solve some problems. But what about everything else? You know what I mean. We all know what I mean. But we try to shut out all those questions, by hanging on to a hope of a wonderful tropical paradise island where unicorns poop rainbows. You can't ignore everything else and call yourself a patriotic, just by changing a fb profile pic, or pounding your chest and saying you have a duty to save your motherland, while your brothers fuck it up, or flying the national flag on your roof, or being there in spirit. YET doing nothing to make a change, or worse off ignoring it all.
I am afraid the end of the war will bring another repitition of history. I overheard a conversation between some very educated elderly people in the country. People who have gone through the past 60-70 years of unrest. People who have feared for their new born kids safety in the 83 riots. People who claim they are patriots, and want to see peace. YET, they still haven't learned. They still talk about tamils like every tamil out there who comes to buy/rent a house is a criminal. They talk about muslims like every muslim out there is a dirty old scumbank looking for money. Generalisation goes and works only a certain way. How do we co-exist without learning to accept that each of us are different and we might not be any different than those same generalisation/racist comments in case we were born to a tamil/muslim mother. None of us are superior than the other. How can we hope for a secular land when the people who have gone through all the shit, still thinks in their age-old ways.. And power blinds you and makes you forget your roots. And children of the future are spoonfed those same things, all over again.

In the end we are all trying to get through, until we die. We are all alone. We are all selfish. We are all hypocritical. And everthing is temporary.